Only the Brave Will Cry
by Aqua Zephyrus
Summary: *Hotch/Beth previous, Hotch/Reid preslash* Aaron Hotchner has now had two relationships that have fallen apart. He's not ready for a new one. Not yet. But maybe with Spencer Reid picking up the pieces of his boss... maybe he can consider a third time.


**This was originally gonna be a really fluffy fan fiction, and it turned into... this. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with it, but for right now, we're doing it like this. If you could leave feedback, I would love you forever. Seriously.**

**Crossposted on AO3. **

**Because I don't own CM at all**. **Probably for a damn good reason.**

* * *

_"If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings."_

_-Lisa Moriyama_

* * *

There were only so many times that Spencer Reid could really watch Aaron Hotchner come out of his room looking so frazzled. Whether it was a hotel bedroom or his office, he definitely had looked like he had seen better days more often than not.

But tonight… tonight seemed a lot different.

The genius of the Behavioral Analysis Unit glanced up from his last file to see Aaron Hotchner walking out of his office, rubbing his head with eyes closed. He looked worse for the wear, and the man had a sneaking suspicion that his boss was feeling more and more his forty-seven years of age than he had in a long time. He blinked, watching him descend the steps and cast Reid a small smile. "Don't stay here too late," he told him, nodding to the files on his desk.

"I won't," he replied, mustering up a smile and a nod. "Home to see Jack and Beth?"

Beth. That was a hell of a time to bring her up, and he immediately realized his mistake when he saw Hotch's smile immediately wiped off his face. The unit chief nodded. "She's been watching him since I've been going on cases." He tried to make himself sound happy, but it was obvious he wasn't. Something had happened. "She and Jack get along pretty well from what I've seen. That's a good thing, right?"

Reid knew Hotch had always put his son's best interests at heart over his own, but this—this wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to always be about Jack, least to the genius. Aaron had to have some factor in it. Beth was _his girlfriend,_ for crying out loud. He frowned and found himself picking up a pen on his desk with a question of his own. "What about you?"

Hotch couldn't answer. He looked down at the floor for a moment before back up with another tired smile and a headshake. "I'll be all right. Have a good night, Reid."

Before he could ask another question, Hotch had left the office and shut the door without another word. Reid sighed softly and stared at the papers before setting the pen down and getting up from his chair. There wasn't a point to being here anymore. Everyone else had gone for the night, and quite frankly, he didn't like the idea of being alone in the building. It unnerved him—always had. Always would.

He'd have felt better if Hotch was with him. _Aaron_ was with him.

* * *

The days following had Reid watching his boss more closely. Watching his facial expressions, body language, watching him slowly and gradually deteriorate into a shadow of himself. Surely things were going downhill between him and Beth. There wasn't much else of a reasonable explanation that the genius could find, and more and more, Reid found himself worrying senselessly over the man who was his superior.

To be fair, Spencer had always had a quiet crush on Hotch. On the way he handled situations under pressure, always the alpha male, generally very much in-control of his emotions except on pretty remote occasions. Sure, the both of them held eye contact better than anyone on the team- least, that's what Prentiss had always said. Able to hold a conversation, even with Reid rambling off facts at times- noted by JJ on more than one incident. Not to mention, they didn't look half-bad together- observed by Rossi.

But then, as Morgan pointed out- Hotch had Beth. He wouldn't look at Reid like that now. Not when he had his triathlon partner-turned girlfriend. Right?

Garcia consistently told them all Hotch held the genius in high regard for a reason. And maybe it wasn't just his smarts.

"_Reid!"_

Jolted out of his thoughts, the profiler looked up at Rossi with a blink. "What?"

"I've been trying to snap you out of your stare for the last five minutes," the author snorted before nodding up to Hotch's office. "Look up there."

Reid turned around in his chair curiously and grimaced. Hotch had shut the blinds to his office for the first time in months- seven months, twelve days, and sixteen hours, to Spencer's memory. He looked back at Rossi and jerked his head. "What do you think's wrong?"

Rossi shrugged. "Call me no genius, but I think Beth's not exactly working out as peachy as Aaron and I thought it would."

"Really?" he muttered. "I couldn't have figured that one out on my own."

The elder profiler sat on the edge of Alex Blake's desk with his cup of coffee and fixed his stare on that door. "Maybe someone better go talk to him. See if everything's all right with him. Talk him out with whatever's wrong. Take him out for coffee. Take him home."

Reid shrugged. "Maybe he wants to be alone."

"Bullshit," Dave scoffed. "I've seen many a closed door _and_ closed blinds to know that something has definitely gone done in that room. Hell, he didn't shut the shades when he was signing divorce papers. He doesn't shut them for _anything _unless he's hiding something." He finally pried his gaze off the door and stared at Reid pointedly. "And I know he sure as hell isn't gonna talk to any of us about it. Except one."

It took a moment for Reid to realize that Rossi was talking about him. And it got him to laugh. "What can I do about it? He's—"

"What? Closed off to you? Stern? Grumbling? Who do you think you're fooling?" He lowered his voice a little and looked around, leaning closer to him. "I told Aaron, I'll tell you. Life is short, Spencer. And you deserve to be happy."

The advice stopped the man cold. "_Life is short. And you deserve to be happy."_

He looked back at the door and around at the quiet bullpen before getting up out of his chair and walking up the stairs to Hotch's door and knocking softly. "Hotch?"

* * *

"…Beth, please…"

"_No, Aaron."_ The voice on the other end was polite, yet firm. Convinced. It held a bit of an edge to it as well. As if she was sick of it being on the phone with him—which she was. All forty-five minutes of it. "_I've made up my mind. I just… I can't do this anymore. I don't know how __**Haley**__ put up with this for years when I can't even do it for seven months. How you can always go out there and expect to come home. How I will know you're safe. How I know __**I'll**__ be…"_ Her voice caught in her throat.

The man was rubbing his head with elbows on the desk., eyes closed. He swallowed hard and nodded, even if she couldn't see him. "I-I'll be home in a w-while."

There was a click on the other end, and Hotch set his phone on the desk before placing both hands on his head. Why did he see this coming? _How_ did he see this coming, for god's sake. He should have known this wasn't going to work. But did he?

_Knock knock. "_Hotch?"

The unit chief straightened up from his position and grabbed a pen. "Come in."

Reid looked inside with a blink. "H-hey. You all right?"

Hotch didn't bat an eye at the question. "I'm all right. Had to take a phone call."

"With the blinds closed?"

He motioned to the genius in the doorway. "Close the door."

Reid obeyed and shut the door behind him, walking over to his boss's desk with a frown on his face. He hadn't ever seen Aaron look so—out of it. So dead before. Even in the wake of Haley's divorce… hell, her _death_, he looked like he was going to be able to carry on. But this… this was different for sure. "What happened, Hotch? Are you okay?"

Million dollar question for sure. Wasn't it always when his boss looked upset?

The unit chief didn't speak for a good three minutes, biting his top lip and gazing at the pens and pencils on is desk before finally looking up at Reid with no smile on his lips. "…Beth and I broke up. She's leaving when I get home tonight. For good."


End file.
